If you watched Tim Kurkjian last night on ESPN, then you know just how close he came to an on-air myocardial infarction. In the history of the game, he said, what viewers just saw was history — the best night of baseball ever of any regular season. The best, as he repeated, in 200,000 games. In fact, he’s right — it might well have been.

Unless, of course, you’re a fan of either the Boston Red Sox or Atlanta Braves. For both of those clubs, and their fans, the “night to remember” was a belly-up sinking that compared with the loss of the “unsinkable” Titanic: it just wasn’t supposed to happen. Fans will focus on the Red Sox, of course, but down in Atlanta the despair was as keenly felt. You only have so many shots at this, and this may be one of the Braves’ last.

“When you’re in a slump as a team, you find a bunch of different ways to lose,” third baseman Chipper Jones said after the Bravos dropped a nail biter to the Phillies. “Bats go silent. You get wild on the mound. You walk in runs. You find different ways to lose and we sure did over the past couple weeks.”

Okay. But still — the most improbable of improbables was not the Braves loss to Philadelphia (let alone the Redbirds whitewashing of the Astros), or even the fact that somehow the Tampa Bay Rays came back to take a 12 inning victory from the Yankees, but Baltimore’s epic ninth inning walk off victory against the Nation. “Now, there’s something you don’t see every day,” the unsinkable Molly Brown said as she saw the Titanic go down, stern first.

And that’s what we all said, last night, when Robert Andino put a Jonathan Papelbon offering just off the glove of Carl Crawford in left field to score Noland Reimold and give the Orioles (the Orioles!) a walk-off 4-3 win in Baltimore. There’s a reason why fans keep their mouths shut when they’re watching a no-hitter in the ninth, just as there’s a reason why you don’t pitch Tim Wakefield eight times in the middle of a divisional race just so he can get his 200th win. (What the hell were they thinking?)

Here’s some other things you don’t ever do, no matter what. You don’t calculate that you have an inside shot just because the Rays are playing the Yankees, you don’t headline that you have “the best team ever” at the beginning of a season, you don’t describe the Iraqi insurgents as “pushovers” — and you don’t call a ship unsinkable when it’s sitting in Belfast Harbor: you don’t flirt with icebergs.

So . . . so don’t rewrite the rules. They remain, the rules. You don’t tempt fate, which is what the Red Sox did all of September, and it’s what they did last night. It’s call hubris, and it’s been around since Homer. “I’m pretty shocked,” Red Sox arm John Lester said. “Not only with the Rays game, but in our game, we’ve got the best closer in baseball. That stuff doesn’t happen to him.” Oh, c’mon. Sure it does.  This is baseball.

Light-hitting Donnie Murphy took a Collin Balester offering deep into the bullpen in the 13th inning on Saturday, leading the Florida Marlins to a 4-1 victory over the Nationals at Nationals Park. The Murphy homer ended a solid string of relief innings for the Nats’ bullpen, accounting for the second straight loss to the Marlins in as many nights.

Once again, the Nationals could not seem to find a way to hit Marlins’ pitching — scattering six hits over 13, and scoring just once. The lone piece of good news at the plate came when Nationals’ catcher Wilson Ramos connected in the fifth inning off of Chris Volstad for his thirteenth home run of the year.

Of course, the big news of the night was the start of Stephen Strasburg, who pitched brilliantly through six innings, giving up four hits, striking out three, and walking none. Strasburg’s outing provided further evidence that the young righty is on track for a solid 2012, and is continuing his successful rehabilitation from Tommy John surgery.

Those Are The Details, Now For The Headlines: The Phillies clinched their fifth straight N.L. East title with a 9-2 laugher over the St. Louis Cardinals. That the Phillies captured the flag is hardly a surprise, as their victory on Saturday showed. Roy Oswalt threw seven and struck out seven, with Shane Victorino and Raul Ibanez homering . . .

While everyone is tuned into the Rays-Red Sox match-up in Boston, the San Francisco Giants have been quietly sneaking up on the Diamondbacks. Last night, the McCoveys held off the Rockies for their seventh straight, while Arizona fell to the Friars. But Arizona’s lead might be too big to overcome: they lead the Giants by five games with ten to play . . .

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John Lannan seems to be getting better and better. But for skeptical Nats’ fans (who have a right to be skeptical), Lannan’s outing against the Atlanta Braves on Tuesday night, seemed the clearest evidence that the young lefty deserves a prominent role in the Nationals’ future — and might be moving into the top tier of major league baseball’s most effective and consistent lefty starters. Lannan is now 8-7 with a 3.65 ERA.

Backed by home runs from Ian Desmond, Michael Morse and Rick Ankiel (who powered a Derek Lowe offering into centerfield — for a grand slam), Lannan pitched 6.2 innings and struck out eight, in leading the Nationals to a 9-3 rout of the Braves at Nationals Park. Everything seemed to click: Lannan baffled Atlanta hitters, who could never put enough hits together to threaten the Nats, while Ankiel (who is suddenly hot), raised his batting average by ten points in ten games.

The win was Washington’s fourth in a row, a needed lift after a rough road trip and a morale sapping dive into last place. Washington is now three games under .500 and within striking distance of the middle of the pack in the N.L. East. The Braves, on the other hand, seem to be going the other way: Lowe was shaky and the Braves are now in danger of losing their grip on the Wild Card spot.

Not surprisingly, particularly the way the game is being played in “the post-steroid era,” the break-out play of the contest had nothing to do with either Lannan or Ankiel. It was Jonny Gomes’ take-out slide of Atlanta catcher David Ross on a fielder’s choice play with the bases loaded that provided the spark for Washington. The Gomes’ play upended Ross, who never touched home for the force out.

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Baseball’s commenters continue to insist it’s “early” — but if you’re a Boston Red Sox fan, the clock is ticking. With the Nationals rained out in St. Louis, it seemed as good a time as any to check out Boston’s best, switching the channel from the MASN St. Louis broadcast to CSN California, where the struggling Bosox were facing off against Oakland’s Brett Anderson, one of the best young pitchers in the game. The Red Sox have always had difficulties against Anderson and, as it turns out, last night was no different, as Anderson and the A’s shut down the Red Sox 5-0.

The difference in the game was Anderson — who threw eight complete innings of four hit ball, burying his curve and baffling Bosox hitters. Boston’s best flailed away, notching eight strike outs while Anderson walked one. The good news for Boston (if there is such a thing) is that its pitching was strong through seven, with John Lackey returning to form: he looked just fine in six complete, holding the White Elephants to a single run on four hits. But this might not have been the best night to give Hideki Okajima his first outing of the season; the just-returned Okajima threw batting practice to the A’s light hitting roster, and they lit him up (.2 innings, two hits, three runs — that’s a 40.50 ERA).

“It’s awful early,” Sox manager Terry Francona said after the game. “It’s a small sample, but their guy just pitched a great game tonight. They’re a hot staff right now.” Well, it’s not that early — and while the Sox are hardly out of it in the A.L. East (and yeah, there’s still a long way to go), their best hitters are struggling (the team is 10th of 14 in the A.L.), and their pitching is nowhere to be seen (they’re dead last in the A.L. in team ERA). You can see their struggles in their eyes: Carl Crawford looks like he’s been hit with a shovel, and Kevin Youkilis shakes his head after nearly every poor inning.

So here’s the question: is it that Brett Anderson was that good — or that Boston just can’t get on track? For Francona, the glass is still half full: don’t worry, Boston is recovering from its early season woes (he says), they just ran into a tough young pitcher. But for Boston fans, that reassuring message is getting harder and harder to believe. Anderson is only the beginning. The A’s have the best young staff in the game (Brett Anderson, Trevor Cahill, Gio Gonzalez, reclamation project Brandon McCarthy — oh, and Dallas Braden and his temporary replacement, Tyson Ross) and Boston is 0-7 on the road. It might not seem likely, but it’s possible that Boston will emerge from the caverns of the Oakland Coliseum with a record of 5-13. In which case, it’ll be damned hard for the Back Bay faithful to do anything but panic.

When the Chicago Cubs were desperate for pitching during the off-season, they dangled a boat load of prospects to Tampa Bay for Matt Garza, the imposing right hander (6-4, 215) who could add stability to their weirdly dysfunctional starting four. The Rays were all ears: they were in the midst of losing star-to-be Carl Crawford to Boston and needed to build for the future. This was a typical North Side Drama Queen move — trading the future (including Chris Archer, their best young pitching prospect) for a mediocre present. It’s not that Matt Garza is a bad pitcher (he’s not), it’s just that he’s not going to keep the Cubs from falling through the floor. Which. Is. Where. They’re. Headed.

Parting with Garza was something the Rays were going to have to do, but for the Cubs the price was steep. There was Archer and Hak-Ju Lee, a faster-than-a-speeding-bullet shortstop who wasn’t going to be in Chicago anytime soon, as well as almost ready outfielder Brandon Guyer and infielder Robinson Chirinos. That’s a hell of a haul, but not enough for the Rays, who were going to give up some youngsters of their own, including outfielder Fernando Perez and mystery pitcher Zach Rosscup, a kid with a lively arm. The Rays might have sealed this deal, but they wanted midget outfielder Sam Fuld in addition to what they were getting, and the Cubs agreed. While the powers-that-be later headlined the trade as “Garza for Fuld plus prospects,” Fuld was actually a throw in — a nice defensive outfield addition for those days that Manny Ramirez decided he wanted to do something else.

So here we are in April, Manny Ramirez is in Spain, Matt Garza is struggling in Chicago, Perez is hitting .235 in Triple-A Iowa and “throw in” Sam Fuld is hitting .321 and flashing his leather for the Rays in the outfield. Last night, in the pure hell that has become Fenway Park, Fuld was 4-6, scored three, plated three RBIs and made a diving catch in the fifth inning on a line-drive off the bat of Dustin “our Lord and Savior” Pedroia. It was quite a night for the New Hampshire native (30 family members were in the stands to see him), who grew up watching the Red Sox on television. Fuld was thrilled: “I think I had a little more adrenalin tonight, just playing in this park that I grew up going to,” he said after the Rays notched a 16-5 victory.

Fuld is scrappy and a great defensive addition to the Rays; and you never know, he might actually do some hitting. He was always an afterthought in Chicago, where he barely laid his bat on the ball. But he got some attention, primarily because of his all-out attitude. Fuld was never rated a top prospect by Baseball America, or really latched on to by the Cubs front office, and his size (he’s an exaggerated 5-10) worked against him. No one in the Cubs organization was sorry to see him go — he just couldn’t hit, just like that other no-name the Cubs traded, some fifty years ago now. What was his name?

The book on David Price reads something like this: the 25-year-old has a great fastball and pinpoint accuracy. He’s tough, he’s competitive, he’s a already a superstar. And from time to time, and for absolutely no reason at all, he loses confidence and focus. This usually happens in the 5th or 6th innings. It’s a puzzle. Of course, this complaint is nit-picky; Price was 19-6 last year and one of the dominant pitchers in the American League. He’s Cy Young material. So, no problem. Right? Well, maybe — and maybe not. Price’s habit of losing focus not only makes him merely human, the Tampa Bay brain trust is worried that it could lead to bigger problems.

The nit-picky problem with Price was on full display last night in the Rays’ Opening Day tilt against the Baltimore Orioles. The Fighting Showalters couldn’t do anything with Price through four innings as he moved his fastball (clocked at 98 mph) in and out and up-and-down in the strike zone. But he wasn’t getting the inside corner and, in the 5th inning, he decided he would start moving his fastball out over the plate and rely more on his curve. But here was the problem: the Orioles hadn’t really touched his fastball — so why change? Never mind: Price decided that while he was pitching well, he wasn’t pitching well enough. The perfect became the enemy of the good. In the 5th, as Price was losing his razor short first-four-innings focus, the Orioles touched him for three runs.

The Price story is all over Tampa this morning, with little heed given there to Jeremy Guthrie’s seemingly effortless gem. But it was hardly effortless. After the Orioles put their first win in the books, Guthrie told MASN viewers what they could find out from watching the game: he has mastered his 12-6 curve, a biting overhand offering that set Tampa hitters back on their heels. “We’ve seen Guthrie with that kind of stuff,” O’s catcher Matt Wieters said after the game, “but to be able to do that on Opening Day against a good lineup, that’s pretty special right there.” Guthrie’s triumph is good news for the O’s, who ought to have plenty of hitting, but are a little short on arms. “He was awesome,” said second baseman Brian Roberts said of Guthrie. “I think we believe that Guthrie can beat anybody.” Last night, in a game worth watching, Guthrie was confident and tough. David Price wasn’t.

You’d have to be nuts not to want Adam Jones on your team: the fleet-footed Baltimore center fielder is young and tough, and fated to play the green expanses of Camden Yards for years to come. So why doesn’t Jones get more respect? The youngster didn’t make MLB Network’s Top 100 players and was virtually ignored by the media in the offseason — at the same time that a mini-boomlet was being engineered for Pittsburgh’s Andrew McCutchen. What a waste. Jones is no slouch: last year (at age 24) he hit .284 with 19 home runs and (arguably) is the key to a revamped Orioles line-up. Say what you will about Mark Reynolds (who comes over from Arizona), J.J. Hardy (shipped out of Minneapolis after an injury plagued year with the Twins), and Derrek Lee (who now mans first base), if the Orioles are to be any good at all, then Jones has to shine. And dollars-to-donuts, our opinion is that Jones is better than any of them.

The Orioles have revamped the left side of their infield, putting strikeout-a-lot Reynolds at third and veteran Hardy at short. With steady Brian Roberts healthy and manning second and former Gold Glove first baseman Lee at first, the Orioles have a solid infield with a potential ton of power at the corners. If Derrek Lee returns to form and Reynolds matches his power output from 2010, the Orioles line-up will give the rest of the A.L. East fits, even if the Yankees and Red Sox fight it out for first — as is expected. Oh, and let’s not forget: the O’s signed Vlad Guerrero to DH, the underrated Luke Scott is still in uniform, back-up journeyman Jake Fox has hit the cover off the ball in Florida, Felix Pie and Nolan Reimold are contending for starting spots, catcher Matt Wieters is greatness-waiting-to-happen, Nick Markakis is a heck of a ballplayer, and Josh Bell can still play. That’s a lot of moving parts, and a lot of potential lumber in the O’s line-up. But . . .

But the key to the O’s success (and to any team’s success for that matter) is their pitching. In Baltimore’s case, it’s shaky. The Orioles staff is young and uncertain — and anyone who watched the team during last year’s first half got an eyeful of mediocre. Let’s see; the starting rotation is all under 25, with vunderkind Brian Matusz (that’s him, below) leading a foursome that includes Chris Tillman. Jake Arrieta and Brad Bergesen. They all have potential, but the Orioles might have tried to sign a steady veteran fifth starter in the off-season. They sure could use one. Joining this crew is late-addition Justin Duchscherer who, if he’s healthy, can be a steady presence. Jeremy Guthrie (11-14, 3.83) is another solid starter, though his name has been bandied about as trade bait. Add southpaw rookie Zach Britton to that mix and the O’s might catch lightening in a bottle. Or not. Of course, then again, the O’s staff (bad as it is) still looks a damn sight better than what Washington has.

Baseball wags are worried that the too-young staff could be victimized by a less-than-average bullpen. The O’s are counting on former North Side Drama Queen head case Kevin Gregg to be the closer and, you never know, he might be able to do the job. The O’s continue to rely on Koji (I don’t have an elbow) Uehara to do something, but I’ll be damned if I know why. “For now they can’t do enough for me to beef up that bullpen,” a baseball executive told the Sporting News in the off-season, “because the worst thing for a young starter’s psyche is to leave the game and not believe the pen’s going to hold your lead.” So there you have it: your Baltimore Orioles. They’re picked for last by nearly everyone, except for us. If they can keep their aging core off the injured list, they’ll be good. At the very least, with Showalter at the helm this year will be more interesting than last, and a damned sight more exciting for O’s fans. Though, in truth, that’s not saying a lot.