The Nationals roll out of Washington after suffering a signal defeat at the hands of the Milwaukee Brewers — another “might-have-been” in a home stand of might-have-beens, with the brewmeisters’ winning a 7-1, a veritable sudzing of the Anacostia Nine at Nats Park on Monday afternoon. In many ways this was a typical outing for Collin Balester: that is to say, it was not good. Balester was only marginally better than during his previous outing (when he couldn’t get out of the second inning versus the Rockies), because last night he actually lasted into the sixth against the Brewers. When headed for the third time throught the crew’s line-up, Balester fell apart — with the scorebook telling the tale (in order): double, home run, single (wild pitch), walk, walk, single (relieved by Bergman), single, single (relieved by Villone), fielder’s choice, strike out, strike out. The butcher’s bill? Six runs, seven hits (including a home run), two walks and a wild pitch.

It was difficult for Jim Riggleman to put flinty light on such an embarrassment, so he didn’t try: “If I had a crystal ball, I would not have sent him out there for the sixth inning,” he said. But the Nats’ bats were also to blame: the team left twenty-one on base over the course of nine (that’s more than two an inning, for those of you who are counting) and couldn’t take advantage of a less-than impressive Yovani Gallardo, who seemed (at times) almost indifferent to his fate. The big blast for the Brewers came off the bat of Ryan Braun, whose soaring 6th inning tumbler landed six rows from the plaza up in the left field stands. Excepting for that up-in-the-zone pitch, the Nats seemed to master the smooth swinging Braun, who registered three strike outs. That Nats are now off to “the city of the big shoulders, the hog butcher of the world,” where they face the other worldly Cubs, owner of an embarrassingly high salary structure to go with their embarrassing won-loss record.

The headline of the Cubs website reads: “Zambrano returns to kick off critical homestand.” Yeah, it’s critical alright. It’s critical for those who want to have a future in Chicago next year. For the rest of us, the question of whether the Cubs will have a place in the post-season has already been answered — and the answer is “no.” When the Cubs have needed to produce the most they have flopped: they are 5-10 over the last fifteen and most recently lost an embarrassing three of four in Los Angeles. To those stinking Dodgers no less. When they most needed to gain ground on the Cardinals (and if not that, to gain ground in the wild card race) the Cubs actually lost ground — with the rest of the league racing away from them. They are eight games behind the Redbirds, and 7.5 behind the Colorado Streaks in the wild card. Their recent road trip was a disaster: they were pathetic against Colorado, horrible against San Diego (as in the San Diego Padres), and outclassed against the Trolleys. It actually looked, in the city of dreams, as if the slugs had thrown in the towel. One Cubbie’s blog notes: they now have as much chance of making the post-season as O.J. Simpson does of being a useful member of society.

After spending the last twenty-four hours pouring over Cubs’ statistics, we here at CFG have come to the following conclusion: the Cubs are just not very good. The problem starts not on the field, but in the dugout: Carlos Zambrano spends most of the time fighting himself, Milton Bradley is a whiner, the front office decided to trade away Mark de Rosa (who was only the key to the team), Rich Harden’s reputation as “the sore armed Harden” is well-earned and the lovable free-swinging Alfonso Soriano is not so lovable when he goes into a pout and hits .194 in 67 games. Fans of the North Side Drama Queens have reacted accordingly: their blogs are filled with stories about new movies, recommendations that the front office participate in the “cash for clunkers” program and they now run tutorials on why Mark Prior is a symbol of why Cubs fans are left to wallow in their own despair. Remember Tinkers-to-Evers-to-Chance? Well, my friends, it’s time to relive those halcyon days.

This isn’t a ball club, it’s a novel.

So here (“Chicagoland fans”) is whatyaoughtado, but it’s painful: you clear the decks and you start over. Not like the Nats! We weren’t slow and old, but we started over anyway. That’s not true for your team. The Cubs are slow and old and they need to get young and fast. Carlos Zambrano could be a very good pitcher, but he’s worn out his welcome. He has to go. The best pitcher on the Cubs staff is Ted Lilly and he’s a gamer. Sadly, he’s 33. So he stays. But I would trade Harden. In spite of his enormous value, he’s one bad pitch from a blown shoulder and I would also cast a jaundiced eye on Ryan Dempster. He hasn’t proved he can pitch in the big games and he’ll never again be as good as he was last year. Aramis Ramirez must stay, of course, but you have to wonder if the injury he suffered this year will recur with increasing frequency. So you think I’m wrong? Well I’m not. You think you have a pitching staff? Really? Well, you don’t: you have episodes from “As The World Turns.”

Now then, on to the infield. Mike Fontenot is a good second sacker, he really is, but he’s not a .300 hitter and never will be. The Cubs need one, to team with shortstop Ryan Theriot — who’s the heart of the club. The Riot is the Cubs future. Fontenot isn’t and neither is Zambrano. Stop talking about how they teamed up at LSU. This isn’t LSU. It’s the majors. And get rid of Derrick Lee. Derrick Lee is a good hitter, but not a great hitter, no matter what you Cubs fans say, and he’s 33. He’s lost a step. Sooner or later (and probably sooner) he’s on his way to the junior circuit where fans can ooh and ahh about his value as a DH. “Oh Derrick, oh Derrick.” Listen, Derrick would look terrific in an Oriole uniform. They love guys like Derrick in Baltimore. And trading Derrick to Baltimore would clear the way for Micah Hoffpauer at first base — and it’s about time. Aramis Ramirez stays at third, of course, because when he’s hitting the Cubs win. But Aramis needs to stay healthy. Cross your fingers.

Let’s see, that leaves Kosuke Fukudome, who’s a hell of a ballplayer. Of course, when he didn’t turn into Mickey Mantle the Chicago press dumped all over him. But when you compare him with, say, this guy, you realize what you have. And fine, you can keep Soriano, so long as you realize who he is (and who, after all, would take his contract?), but understand that he only has about three holes in his swing (an outside slider, an inside slider, a high fastball). I would trade Bradley (if you can), despite the paltry return he’s likely to bring on the market — because the last thing any team needs is a head case.

And that’s the biggest problem with the Cubs. No fan, anywhere, wants to believe that their team doesn’t give a damn. And certainly that’s not the case with the Cubs. Milton Bradley and Carlos Zambrano and Alfonso Soriano want to win as much as the next guy — maybe even more. But that’s not the perception among a lot of Cubs fans, and it’s not the perception among fans of the game outside of Chicago. The Cubs-as-headcase has come to define the franchise. That’s the truth. And there’s only one way to change that perception. Clear the deck, get rid of the deadwood, the old, the slow, the head cases — and to keep the team’s youngest, toughest and most highly motivated players. No matter what their statistics. That means changing the franchise face from Milton Bradley to Sam Fuld. It means keeping a .283 hitter with no pop and no experience  — and trading a grizzled veteran with a high OBP. Because sometimes perception is reality – the kid who gives a damn is a hell of a lot more valuable than the veteran who doesn’t. And that’s always true. No matter what the stats say.

Sam Fuld

Down On Half Street: Elijah Dukes looks like a sorry outfielder — he has not mastered the depth of right field in Nationals Park — but he can hit the ball. Against the Rangers at Nationals Park on Friday night he went 5 for 6 and raised his average to .270. We all watched closely as Manny congratulated him after the game. Dukes even parked one in Center Field. He’s starting to look like the player the Nats thought he might be when they got him from Tampa Bay . . . Enough about this worrying whether the Nats are going to draw. There were 30,000-plus to see the Nats in a 14 inning tussle with the Rangers last night. And the crowd is hardly filled with neophytes. There is a surly quality to the fans along the right field line (where I sit), particularly on ground balls hit to Felipe Lopez . . . camera shots of people streaming in from Half Street now seem to have become a tradition . . . Josh Hamilton struck out three times in the Nats 4-3 win. He looked awful. He should have never agreed to that Sports Illustrated profile.

The Killer: I thought a lot about the Minnesota Twins and all the might-have-beens had they hung around Washington instead of moving to the twin cities. One thing: I have heard that Harmon Killebrew is the model for the MLB logo and the story makes sense  . . .

but I have found no confirmation of it. And the closest I could find of something that looks like a Killebrew stance that might be used for a logo is this:

which is itchy close … but only close. The Twins, of course, started out here before Calvin Griffith moved them after the 1960 season. They went to capture a pennant in ’65 with a team that should have been in Washington. Killebrew was the center of that team. In ’65 he hit 25 home runs with 75 RBIs — an off-year in which he was injured much of the time. Tony Oliva, in only his second full year, hit .321 and led the league in hitting.  But it was Killebrew who was the heart of those Twins’ teams: when he retired he had hit 573 home runs, had been in the top ten in the AL in OBP in nine years (and in the top ten in slugging in ten), and played on eleven all star teams. The Twins did well in Minnesota, but only just: “He kept us in business,” Calvin Griffith said of Killebrew.

The early ’60s were very good years for the Twins, with one World Series title, but they were not great years. The great years were the late ’80s and early ’90s. The Twins won the series in ’87 and again in ’91, behind the hitting of Kent Hrbek, Gary Gaetti and Kirby Puckett – two of whom are in the Hall of Fame — and the pitching of Bert Blyleven and

Then there’s this:

twer it so …

The Nation: Me droog Tom (you remember Tom) and I spent Thursday night talking about baseball, and about halfway through our discussion he asked me whether it was true that the Red Sox are now actually hated — after spending years as the darlings of American fandom. It didn’t use to be that way, he noted. I told him that it was true. “You bet they’re hated,” I said, “especially Varitek.” But over the last two days I’ve changed my mind: I don’t think they’re hated, I think they’re getting too much attention. It’s not their fault.

Here’s what I mean. On any given night you can tune into Baseball Tonight and hear Peter Gammons whinge on and on about the trials and tribulations of Dustin Pedroia. Here’s Dustin hitting for the cycle, here’s Dustin making a terrific play, here’s Dustin meeting with the Queen. Why, I bet that Dustin can even sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” There’s no question that Pedroia was a terrific find for the Bosox (and I love Gammons, frankly), but Pedroia’s not a great player, he’s not even close to a great player. Then too, the guy I saw last night, Ian Kinsler, is much better — but gets half the attention.

By-the-bye, the young lady behind me noticed that Kinsler was all over the field, ranging to his left and right to scoop up ground balls and every time he did she would yell “get ‘em gadget.” And then she would giggle. Get it? Get em gadget?

Kinsler’s hitting .306 with ten home runs and 45 RBIs: a clip that should net him 120 RBIs and close to 25 home runs. Pedroia’s hitting .277 with six home runs and 32 RBIs. Kinsler has better range at second, better speed, a better glove. But Pedroia leads the All Star balloting (Kinsler is second) by some 200,000-plus votes. Why? Because Pedroia plays in Boston, that’s why.

I’m not whining mind you (well, okay, I’m whining just a bit) — I’m just building a case for claiming that the Red Sox are not hated. They’re over-exposed. And that has nothing to do with the Red Sox. It has to do with the way that the baseball media cover them. The same is true of the Cubs, by the way. And, well, you know … I love the Cubs. And the Nats, of course. But honest-go-God, I know that ESPN has to worry about ratings, but we’ve got the Cubs and Yanks and Bosox covered — let’s see the Rangers and Pirates and, yes, even the Royals. It shouldn’t be that I have to go to a Nats game to be expose to the likes of an Ian Kinsler.

The Cleveland Naps: When I was a kid I was always delving into the history of baseball, honing my skills at talking about guys like Nap Lajoie and Kid Nichols. History is what I had instead of an ability to hit a curveball. But I only learned recently that the current Cleveland Indians were once named the Cleveland Naps in his honor (his name, by the way, is French Canadian — and is pronounced La-jway). That’s how good he was.

One thing’s for sure: they’re not going to be renaming the Nats the Felipe’s anytime soon.

Pale Hose’d: The White Sox have stuck Josh Fields at Triple-A — and he’s playing like a major leaguer. I remember when Joe Crede went down with an injury last year I thought “oh, oh,” and then Fields knocked the hell out of the ball. Okay, so he didn’t knock the hell out of the ball, but he proved he belonged in the majors. So when Crede came back this year, what did the Pale Hose do? … they demoted Fields. He’s at Charlotte, where he’s hitting .292 with three home runs. Listen, if the White Sox don’t want him …

The Very Junior Circuit: If you sit here in the National League on the East Coast you focus on … well, you focus on the National League on the East Coast. For us, a team like the Texas Rangers hardly seems to exist. So in reading through the Hardball Times this week I learned that the Rangers have the fourth best minor league system in baseball. I believe it, but so … ? This team is lost … maybe Nolan, the new Ranger president (who, presumably, knows something about this game), can help.

GnatsNation: Tyler Clippard and Collin Balester continue to tear up Triple-A, while Mat and Sean continue to get torn up in the majors … Paul LoDuca is still out, but it seems not to have made a difference. Wil Nieves’ walk-off home run on Friday night sailed into the bullpen, giving him one more homer than the former Met … So now, after the Nat’s win, a sweep is out of the question … I hate to say it, but the one-time great hope for the Cubs in centerfield might be done (see below). Dubois is hitting .174 at Columbus; even Langerhans is doing better. Oleanders and Morning Glories has a good dit in on the Mets — which I missed and Just A Nat’s Fan has a good piece (“We All Scream for Ice Cream”) on what it’s like to cheer for the Anacostia Boys when your heart is still on the North Side. I hear ya … > span>