A family member put it best in the seventh inning of last night’s Nats win in Denver: “Maybe the umps are on psychedelics. Maybe they don’t know it’s raining.” It didn’t seem out of the question: for about five innings of the eight inning contest last night, Denver looked more like Manila during a monsoon than Colorado in the warm spring. The night provided Nats and Rockies regulars with a slick slog that puddled the infield and forced outfielders to wade through inch-deep water to catch fly balls descending between torrential rains. The weather didn’t seem to bother the Nats, who banged out 14 runs on sixteen hits, scoring seven in the top of the eighth to seal the victory. Ryan Zimmerman slugged two homers and drove in six, to push the Nats to a 20-15 record. That’s good enough for second place in the NL Least and among the best in all of baseball.

It’s Not A Motorcycle Baby, It’s A Chopper: The Nats shouldn’t get a pass just because they’re playing well. So here goes: what is it that Jim Riggleman hasn’t figured out about Miguel Batista? The Nats skipper brought in Batista’s middle innings arm to provide experience and stability, but Riggleman’s confidence in Batista has to be waning. Mine sure is. Batista was shaky again last night, allowing the Rockies back into the game when they should have been prayed and planted. The former Cubs, Mariner, Diamondback, Blue Jay, Pirate and Marlin sports a 6.04 ERA, but that number should be checked — it has to be low. Last night, the 38-year-old veteran (rough translation: this should be his last stop), came into the game in the 5th, but couldn’t survive the 6th. I almost expected Jim Tracy to beg Rigs to leave him in the game. He gave up a round-tripper to Miguel Olivo. But that wasn’t a surprise to anyone with eyes. Everytime Batista gets behind in the count (which is nearly every batter), he puffs himself up, concentrates real hard . . . and grooves an 87 mph fastball. This is then followed by his shake of the head and a Riggleman visit to the mound. Enough already . . .

Rob Dibble is the constant focus of fan complaints. The MASN baseball analyst is outspoken, a fan of movies that only adolescents would like, culturally out-of-tune (“hey, remember the Fonz?”), and a sometime drain on the patience of Bob Carpenter — a 17-year-old in a forty-something’s body. But for those of us who spend the early hours watching the MLB’s network feeds from the midwest and left coast, Dibble comes across as a guy who knows the game and isn’t afraid to express an opinion. Don’t believe it? Tune into a Cardinals broadcast to see what I mean: Dopey and Sleepy do baseball. I swear — play-by-play guy Dan McLaughlin and color analyst Mike Shannon are terrific, but only if you like long silences and chit chat about everything but baseball. I once timed one of their silences, through two batters and four pitches into a third. And then this: “Nice night.” I thought maybe they’d fallen asleep. I’ll take Dibble any day. Then too (but this is only CFG’s opinion), he beats the daylights out of former Nats broadcast brain Don Sutton, whose phony baloney all-American we-are-family shtick (“Austin Kearns is just a fine young man”) wore out after the first rendition of “America.”

But Dibs makes mistakes, forgivable mistakes to be sure — but mistakes. You can almost feel Carpenter smiling to himself when he does. Last night was pretty typical for the Carpenter-Dibble duo. When Nats’ catcher Ivan Rodriguez came to bat in the top of the eighth with runners on first and second, Carpenter asked his sidekick whether Riggleman would have him push the runners over with a sacrifice bunt. “No way. He’s hitting .407 with runners in scoring position,” Dibs said. “Riggleman’ll have him hit away.” Sure nuf, Pudge laid down a perfect sacrifice bunt, putting runners on second and third. With two on and one out and with first base open, Roger Bernadina was intentionally walked. This brought pinch hitter Cristian Guzman to the plate, who promptly hit a bases-clearing triple. Silence. “Rigs made a pretty good call on that bunt,” Carpenter said.